Day 56

Despite another loss last week (yay!) I had a hard time yesterday wanting to eat right. And I just wanted to keep eating. There is definitely an emotional/boredom factor to my reliance on food. I didn't get in all of my GHG's (most though) and I ate way too many points worth of junk. I stayed on plan, but barely. I'm recommitted today, though, and have started the day off well. I have almost had all of my fruit/veggies for the day, have had protein (to keep me full), whole grains, heart healthy oil and the most important- coffee. Here's my low-point, high filling, completely yummy and energizing breakfast:

• Multi-grain wrap
• 3 egg whites scrambled in EVOO
• cherry tomatoes
• 1 cup spinach
• 1 oz fat-free feta cheese
• all of the above wrapped together in a snug little burrito
• 1/2 cup of fresh cherries (they're $3.00 less per pound this week!!!)
• 1/2 cup blueberries (also an awesome sale, 50% off normal price)
• large cup of coffee (only one so far... there will be more)
• 2 oz fat free milk for the coffee

I'm full, satisfied, and have lots of points left for the day. Having s well rounded, healthy, big breakfast will keep me full longer thus helping to keep my mind off of food. I need that today. Yesterday was tough.

Day 55

Waa-Hoo!!!!! another 1.8 pounds down, but even more exciting than that...

I've hit my 20 lbs. down goal! And I have officially said goodbye to the 230's : )  Now to say goodbye to the 220's. I'm going to aim to have done this by the end of June. Also, my 10% weight loss is right around the corner. 4.4 lbs. away. I'm excited for this one. Losing 10% of your body weight when you're overweight is significant for your health and I am thrilled to finally be doing something good for my body.

My husband and I have now lost a total of 50 lbs. combined. We have an abundance of energy and have never been so motivated to accomplish things around the house, no longer feeling the need to 'rest' after doing almost nothing. My garden is complete before June, and our pool is just about open (maybe by Memorial Day this year!) Perhaps I'll buy a swimsuit this year-- it will be the first time since I was in the 10th grade, 16 years old. Something shiny with a great design : )

Days 53 & 54

I've been doing really well with eating and my activity has come in the form of lots of work outside to finish my garden and get the outside of our house in shape. It has kept me active and unable to really think too much about food outside of meal times. You know what they say about idle hands (idle hands are the devil's handiwork) and keeping them busy has kept them from wanting to put unnecessary food in my mouth. And I'm getting an awesome start on my summer tan!

There have been a couple noticeable changes in my shape lately and tomorrow I will post up-to-date photo's of me. I'm shrinking in many different directions and it feels WONDERFUL!!!! I can't wait to weigh in tomorrow morning as I think I have finally done away with the 230's! I attained my goal of getting below 230 by the end of May and I think I may have just done it : ) Tune in tomorrow to see!

Days 52 & 53

So I have reached a new phase in my journey. Not as a matter of the scale, but as a matter of lifestyle change--which is far more important.

Today was a rough day, for reasons that only I create in my small bubble of existence. In the not so distant past my reaction to these days is to simply eat. Food didn't judge me; it was always there, like a faithful companion; and it was always comforting. So food was my friend, though backside didn't agree. Through this journey I have mostly fought with the mental aspect of eating and learning why I eat like I do. I have had to reason with myself, and learn to recognize when I'm making excuses for eating out of a need for comfort. Also, unlearning the habit of rationalizing my bad choices has been a thorn in my side... Until tonight.

Granted, I'm not home free, and I never really expect to be, but my reaction to my stress this evening was not my standard. It was easy for me tonight to simply say that I didn't to use food in that way. It would only corrupt my efforts and make me feel worse in the short-run and the long-run. And I easily said 'no' to my old habit. Talk about empowering! It felt good to not give in. Another small victory had in my war against my waistline : )

Days 50 and 51

My journey on hold tonite.

Prayers. Lot's of prayers for those in the south who are picking up from the devastation due to wicked tornadoes. So many precious lives lost, and so many people left to go on. God bless you all.

Days 48 & 49

Well, I'm glad to see you all survived Judgement Day.

So, yesterday I wen to a birthday party with my two boys for a sweet little girl turning 2. I had birthday cake and it was yummy! (even though it wasn't one of my special occasion cakes, sometimes you need that good old sheet cake from the grocery store type cake. nostalgia from childhood.) I had a slice, it was good and I was done with it. Then it rained profusely (we were outside in a pavilion) and I got sick again. SO close to being over it, and then the rain. Oh well, let's baby me for a few more days. I won't complain!

This morning was weigh-in day. And I am again proud to say I lost another 2 lbs! Thrilled! I am now only 1.2 lbs away from a solid 20 lbs gone : )  And only 6.2 lbs away from hitting my 10% goal from the start )10% weight lost from my beginning weight). This has been an incredible journey and I am enjoying sharing it with anyone who will listen. It feels good to take control of something so difficult. Well, here's to another successful week!

Day 47

Back on track  and in control today... and it felt good! I've realized in these last two years that I have a definite need to feel/be in control of my environment. Not like OCD, everything in it's place. I have to have a handle on what going on around me and need to know what people are doing. It's a good thing and a bad thing. But in my weight loss journey it is a very good thing. I like having to track my food and be very focused on it. I like having to plan it out and being able to make a definitive judgement against something. A sweet lady offered me a sample of this frozen coffee/cookie/ice cream thingy at Starbucks two days ago. It was an easy answer for me, simply 'no' (well, 'no thank you,' what kind of mom would I be if I didn't use my manners?). But it felt good to have the answer ready to go. Just 3 months ago I would have hemmed and hawed over it and eventually found a way to defend having it or actually ignore that I was allowing myself to eat it. Now, it's very conscious and intentional. And I like the control I can have over that, especially when there is so much in our world that we cannot control; this is something I can.

Alas. Another day down. Can't wait for Sunday!

Day 46

Today was almost back on track. Getting over whatever is ailing me and dealing with school created a task, but tomorrow is just around the corner (of the bed).


However, I would like to discuss my breakfast with you all. Not necessarily my breakfast per se, but breakfast in general. I know that it's "The most important meal of the day" and I do believe that, especially when in Mom mode. I just notice that when I have a well rounded and large breakfast I am less hungry through the rest of the day and don't end up feeling ravenously hungry. Today's breakfast:

• Steel-cut oats made with skim milk and blackberry preserves
• One whole egg with 2 egg whites over medium cooked with EVOO
• Fage 0% greek yogurt with blueberry acai
• 16 oz. skinny vanilla latte
• Banana

This was delicious and was a great start to the day. And it helped that my husband got up at 5:30am to help me make it before I headed out for the day : )... EAT BREAKFAST!

Days 44 & 45

I've been run down and sick. I feel crappy. I've been eating well (and by well I mean within my plan, not necessarily as many good choices as I could make) but no time for exercise. Many, many, many projects, papers and exams all at once. Oh- and I have kids. They require even more of me. We're almost to the end of the week, where I will once again attempt to pick myself up and get ahead of the game. I hate this feeling like I've fallen behind. So long as the only thing that gets left behind in the end is a few extra pounds I can handle the rest! Back on my game tomorrow hopefully!

Day 43

Today was a good day, I had quite a "non-scale victory"...

I was wandering through my bedroom this morning looking for a pair of pants to wear, cursing myself for not doing any laundry this past weekend. I reluctantly decided to try a pair of pants that I purchased a while ago and outgrew before I ever had the chance to wear them. Guess what?

THEY FIT!!! : ) 

Small victories make the journey much easier.

Day 42

Another 3 pounds down!!! YAY!!! Now totalling 16.8 pounds lost since April 2nd.

So, since my schedule is freeing up a bit this week, and my goals of exercising each day last week went unrealized, I will renew my goal to exercise each day this week. I'll do something. I have to say I feel terrific : ) And here's why:

     I have thought many times over the last 10 years of loosing weight, and have always 'known' I could do it on my own simply by eating better and getting more exercise in. But each time I mentally committed to it, I wound up eating worse than I had prior. Each time a bit of weight crept on. I would weight my self regularly and so long as my weight remained the same I was content, telling myself that I'm ok so long as I'm not gaining. Each time I also reaffirmed to myself that there was a certain weight point that I would never allow myself to get to (first it was 230, then 240, then 250). Once I hit 250 I got mad- at myself for allowing this to happen, for causing it. Something clicked and I decided that no matter what excuse was waiting in the wings, I had to change. My Godmother once quoted a book, the first line in that book, and it was tucked away somewhere in the back of my head, and I pulled it out and have really begun to internalize it, and it  has changed my perspective on many things. I fail to remember it exactly but basically:
            

'Life is not easy, and as soon as we accept that fact, the easier it becomes.'

How true! I have accepted responsibility for where I allowed myself to go, and I accepted the gravity of the situation. It's not going to be an easy road; many times I'm going to want to pig out on what ever junk food is around or at special occasions or events. I need to accept that for me, food is a problem and I have an unhealthy relationship with it. I have to treat it differently than many other people do who don't have a dependence on it. I know I'm going to have to be conscious of this for the rest of my life, but being healthy and feeling good are such big motivators and payoffs that I am now willing to exchange one for the other.

Ok, now I'm exhausted from my "YAY Me!" party. Time to relax and get some studying in before a bit of exercise.

Day 41

Today was a LONG day and my eating was not the best... I'm still within my plan guidelines, just not as many nutritious foods as I should have had. I have been working tirelessly on a new special occasion cake (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse) for a client. It's super cute! But it has sucked any and all mental capacity out of me. That and screwing up my son's Little League game twice in one day...

On the plus side, I'm very excited to weigh in in the morning! Even with the awesome trip to the farm and all of the delicious food it entailed this week, I still did well and am hopeful for a good loss!

Days 39 & 40

So, I wanted to post an update last nite but a horrible, vicious virus attacked my computer and ruined my nite. But I have some wonderful and amusing IT guys. So it's all better.

I had a huge victory today. I have to make a cake for Sunday (for those of you who don't know, I have a special occasion cake business) and I am working with two new formulas. As any chef will tell you, you ALWAYS taste your food- how else would you know what you're handing to your customers? So of course I set some points aside and planned for having (and wanting) to taste my new Red Velvet formula and the accompanying cream cheese butter cream.  I was able to taste and nibble only within reason and stop, even when it sat staring at me for a long while! This is a huge deal- just a few months ago I would have devoured all of the scraps and pounded back a few glasses of cold, crisp milk. I kept myself controlled and I enjoyed trying my new confection, and then I was satisfied and done :) Yay me!

I've also been sneaking on the scale. Sundays are my weigh in days so I try to stay away till then, however I've realized that stepping on the scale almost daily has kept me focused and accountable. I spent a long time away from the scale and it was easy then for me to ignore minor weight gain. Now I get to routinely celebrate routine weight loss! I'm excited to log my official weight again on Sunday! I'll keep you posted...

Day 38

Much better day today than yesterday. Eating back on track (with lots of fruits and veggies!) and if it weren't for Accounting and Espanol I would have gotten some worth-while exercise in. Had a great dinner with lean ground beef hamburger, fat-free feta crumbles, wilted spinach and oven roasted baby red potatoes (or oven roasted tomatoes if you're my older son). Yum. Tomorrow I WILL exercise- somehow, some way... In the mean time check out my new page about biodynamic farming (click the tab at the top).

As a side note, if you know someone who would be inspired or encouraged by my journey please share my blog with them!

Day 37

So, today was a rotten mood day. Very frustrated. Stayed within points for eating, but without fruits/veggies/lean meat/water... Eh, back in the saddle tomorrow.

However- I did promise to post some pictures and information on Biodynamic farming and organic farming. Check out the tab at the top of the page! It was a wonderful and perspective changing experience! And yummy too!

Day 36

Well, today I was completely off plan. By design though, not as a matter of lack of control. With a group of like minded peers, I travelled to Hawthorne Valley Farms in Ghent, New York. We were treated to an amazing day at an organic and biodynamic farm and a wonderful meal there after the tour. The foods were rich and flavorful, and I discovered that raw milk is one of the yummiest things EVER! (raw = unpasteurized/homogenized, from cow to me with no middle man)

Tomorrow back on the wagon : )  But today was worth it, and I managed to eat thoughtfully and not over indulge. I listen to my body's cues as to when I was satisfied and stopped. It was a good day!

Check back tomorrow evening for a new page with pics from my visit there and some information on healthy alternatives to eat from the grocery store! Food has never tasted this good.

Day 35

Another 3.2 lbs. bites the dust! WOOOHOOO!!! This also meant that I reach my 5% weight loss target, 5% gone since the beginning. My inches lost total is now at 8.5 inches lost.  : ) Happy day!

Now for some more gardening and time outside in this beautiful weather.

Happy Mother's Day to all you awesome Moms out there! Have a spectacular day!

Days 33 & 34

Well, I've been very productive these past two days. However, having been under the weather on Thursday left me a little out of sorts on Friday. I almost went back to eating mindlessly, without realizing it! I caught myself and kept on my eating plan successfully. Just shows that even after 6 weeks of learning new eating habits, 31+ years of poor eating habits are hard to break. Well, I guess I just have to keep plugging away...

I can't wait to weigh in tomorrow! I'm sure after working out this week and spending lots of time outside landscaping and gardening I'll do well : ) Tune in tomorrow morning to see the results!

Day 32

I'm sick. My boys did it. I didn't feel much like eating today (which made a Cinco de Mayo party very easy) and my joints are all achy.

Well, enough of that.

How about a funny quote from a friend in school? Yeah? Ok! This was in response to a few of us talking about our Cinco de Mayo party:

"You know that really isn't a holiday in Mexico, right?" (Says Gonzalo from Mexico City)
"Yeah, I know"
"I think I'm going to start wishing Americans 'Happy Gettysburg Day'."

Hehehe. I still enjoyed the guacamole!

Day 31

So... instead of the typical "What I did today" post, I'm going with some motivations. I have many goals and wishes; lots of driving desires behind why I'm doing this. Here's the low-down:

• I want my boys to have a mom that can keep up with them
• Want to wear cute shorts- this summer and every one here after
• I know I have an awesome figure somewhere in here and we just never met
• Want to wear skirts and high heels and look great in them
• To buy a great bathing suit so I don't have to wear shorts and a camisole into my own pool
• CONFIDENCE!!!!
• Can't stand the belly roll when I sit
• To extend my life via a healthier lifestyle

Sure some the reasons are vain. But when you've lived in a plus-sized body all of your adult life (minus like 18 months) all you want is great clothes that flatter you, not look like tents. So forgive my shallowness on some of my desires, it is what it is.

When I was a kid, and even a late teenager, I wondered what I would look like when "I grew up." Well, here I am, and this is NOT what I had hoped for. I now realize that I am the catalyst needed for the changes I want. I just told a super sweet gal in my classes at school that by the time our next graduation rolls around in March, I'm gonna be "frickin' hot!" Yup. That's where I'm headed ; )

Day 30

Tuesdays and Thursdays are always tough, being at school--The Culinary Institute of America. Yup. I said it. It's hard to get a truly healthy and fit meal there. Yes, I can find an abundance of healthy foods. Yes, I have a ton of options. However, when you are tracking the nutritional aspects of each food items eaten, and you know the absolute yumminess of the ingredients used to create those dishes, half of one plate could do me in for the entire day. I stuck with salads (both of which were delish!), but one too many sunflower rye rolls. Still on plan, still on track. Still hungry though. Going to bed, tomorrow will be a new day to choose better, more satisfying foods.

Day 29

A good day all around. Ate well, exercised (did the p90x CardioX routine-my fav!) and had a good day with the grown-up and mommy-type stuff. Well on my way to conquering the 230's... Oh! And my darling husband ran to the grocery store and got me Weight Watchers' Giant Vanilla Ice Cream Sandwiches that are completely Yum-o! Good way to end the day. Good nite world....

Days 25, 26, 27 and 28

So I've been busy with life... But I have been focused on my GHG's (good health guidelines) and staying on plan. I did it! and I lost again this week, better than last week : ) 

-2.6 pounds! This is a good rate, a little more than my weekly goal. This brings my total weight loss to just over 10lbs! I'm thrilled to have broken the 240 mark. Now to conquer the 230's : ) May will be the month it gets done... Off to do some chores around the house (mostly outside), lose some more weight and get a little tan from the beautiful sun today.

Ooh. Maybe I should set another goal for this week like I did last week with my GHG's... Hmmmm. How about keeping those in line again, but getting in more "workouts" than I did last week? I got two in, granted I was busy and active besides that, but my best weight loss was when I worked out at least 5 times in a week. Ok, that'll be it. Let's get on it!