Day 47

Back on track  and in control today... and it felt good! I've realized in these last two years that I have a definite need to feel/be in control of my environment. Not like OCD, everything in it's place. I have to have a handle on what going on around me and need to know what people are doing. It's a good thing and a bad thing. But in my weight loss journey it is a very good thing. I like having to track my food and be very focused on it. I like having to plan it out and being able to make a definitive judgement against something. A sweet lady offered me a sample of this frozen coffee/cookie/ice cream thingy at Starbucks two days ago. It was an easy answer for me, simply 'no' (well, 'no thank you,' what kind of mom would I be if I didn't use my manners?). But it felt good to have the answer ready to go. Just 3 months ago I would have hemmed and hawed over it and eventually found a way to defend having it or actually ignore that I was allowing myself to eat it. Now, it's very conscious and intentional. And I like the control I can have over that, especially when there is so much in our world that we cannot control; this is something I can.

Alas. Another day down. Can't wait for Sunday!