- The Social Butterfly I didn't know I had this in me. I spent so much time consumed with what I looked like because of all of the extra weight that I had no capacity or energy to put on a show for others. I avoided gatherings of all kinds, especially ones that centered around food. I was terrified that someone would judge me if they saw the 'fat girl' eating anything at all, no matter how reasonable a portion. My 100 pound cocoon is slowly shedding itself and this flutter-by is spreading her wings!
- The Alluring Wife My husband never really mentioned that I was not the 'girly' type. He never seemed to notice that I didn't care for makeup or dressing cute (or attractively at all, really). Not that I was a slouch (well, maybe I was) but I figured that if I didn't try to fit into that 'stereotype' of femininity that I wouldn't run the risk of looking ridiculous and failing at it. Well, that's all gone out the window! I wear some pretty cute stuff now, do my hair and shake my backside at my hubby : ) He laughs and shakes his head at this new-found part of me.
- The Weight Isn't The Real Problem It has been awesome losing almost 50 pounds as of the time of this post, but I still see the same thing when I look in the mirror. OK, that's not entirely true-- my eyes see something different but my mind interprets it as being the same. There is little-to-no progress in how I accept myself when I see my reflection. My weight was never the issue, it was merely a symptom of a bigger problem.
- The Underlying Issue I tend to come across as very confident, almost to a fault sometimes. I should have been nominated for an Oscar for Best Actress in a real-life drama. I have acted this part for the better portion of my 32 years. Dive into my head, into the things I won't say to anyone and only keep locked away there, and you'll see I have very little self confidence. It permeates every facet of my life, everything I do. It has been hard--odd though it may seem--to succeed at losing weight. I didn't believe I could. Now I have to deal with why I doubted myself and why I regard myself so differently than the rest of the world. I work on this one daily, moment to moment trying to change my thoughts and beliefs.
|These are cute... time to go shopping!|
- Dress Me Up I LOVE ACCESSORIES!!! I love high-end handbags. I love scarves. I love painting my toe nails (especially now that I can reach them). I love the idea of swapping clothes with someone else. I get a kick out of wearing over-sized sunglasses (Hollywood style, not circus style) anytime I'm outside because they are a great accessory. OH! I almost forgot high heeled shoes! I was never able to walk in them without tripping or twisting my ankle, but now I can and I have lots of pairs.
What have you unintentionally learned about yourself through your life's journeys?
Tomorrow: What I've been up to all week (it's yummy, be sure to stop by).